worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They took my balls.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
