some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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