Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
