Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
