You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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