Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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