glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
