you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
