Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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