1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
