It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
