P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
