i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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