So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
