just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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