we have pet lesbian snakes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
