dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize