Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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