We're like a lot better than the average bears
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
