don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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