Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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