i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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