I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
