I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
