Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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