i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
