i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
