There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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