Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
