I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
