If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
