I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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