What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
50% drunk capacity currently
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
