Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
