I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
