I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
