Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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