his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
as a side note pls kill me
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