I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We had to coat check the pizza.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize