We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize