Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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