The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
