Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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