Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
