i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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