i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
