I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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