Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
