saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When are your genitals available?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
