things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
