This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
