that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
