i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
