areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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