omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
