Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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