I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize