you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
