she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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