Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
