I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
