You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
