So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
